my dirty little secret

( cut for length. the A-J of my life right now! )

So last night was pretty traumatizing.

Patches was in full, eyes dilated, back arched, crazy cat hissing/screaming/attacking mode last night for 5 hours, from 9 til I went to bed at 2AM.

( Full details, in an as-they-happened order )

I varied between "god I wish he'd just die" rage last night to "I wish he'd just get better." bawling. I cannot keep him as a pet like this, regardless of what some of my friends think. It is not a matter of using positive reinforcement or training, or plastic bags/spray bottles to discipline him. He was NOT backing down, and nothing was changing his mind. This is not just an instance of an asshole cat. My cat's always been an asshole, taking a swipe at your legs and running away, or biting you for no reason. I've dealt with him as an asshole.

This is him as a crazed mother fucker. He should not be around ANY human like this. I don't have an extra bedroom with a door I can push cat food in. Or a full out riot suit to change his litter box in. He has to live with me, or moreorless, he has to die. He's not an adoptable cat. It is not acceptable, for even the most craziest of cat ladies, for a cat to be in full feral, rip your throat out, ATTACK mode at the drop of a hat, without provoking. If I had thrown something at him, and he retaliated.. for a half hour.. That'd be acceptable. This is just insane.

Besides, regardless of whether I can deal with him.. no one else in my family can run and jump on a sofa, or run AT ALL. If he is like this towards ANY of them.. They're gonna get hurt, maybe severely. I can't have that on my shoulders. AND my sister-in-law is having a baby in July. I can't risk him being a toddler, opening the door to my room and having my cat full fledged attack him.

If this was a human, attacking other humans with a full RAGE.. He'd be a: shot dead while he was trying to attack people or b: stuck in a full bind body straight jacket, and put in some rubber room. They don't have an equivalent for cats. It's called putting to sleep.

I don't have any other options. If I get him declawed, I can't ever put him outside when he gets like this. If I go to the vet to get anti-anxiety medicine... There's no way I can give it to him. If I leave him as an outside cat, I have to risk getting attacked leaving or entering my own house. What other choice do I have but to get him taken away? I don't see any other logical choices. Besides, isn't it better to have him put to sleep rather than have him get hit by a car, or shot at with b-bs/tortured by some stupid neighborhood kid, or kicked to death by some family who's cat/kids he's attacking? It's like the only way I could keep him is if I had a closet full of tranquilizer darts, and whenever he got like this.. I knocked him out, locked him in a cage until he got better. (and can you see him calming down while locked in a cage?)

and Kit, I know you disagree with me on this. I know you do. If I get him put to sleep, you'll probably never talk to me again, but god I think if you had seen him you'd at least understand a little.

LISTENING TO HATEBREED MAKES MY THROAT HURT.

Seriously. I don't think that's normal.

I'm not screaming along, so whyyyyyy?!?!

p.s. THIS LADY IS LUCKY I'M ANAL.

(she has mix cds.. and I'm listening to the songs so I can get them labeled correctly.)

I think I need younger friends. All of my "adult" (I say that like I'm not an adult. doh!) friends have no or very little of a clue about computers... and at least ONCE A DAY I have to fix a computer at work, or show them how to do something, or fix the scanning/ordering/pricing gun.

And then there's the endless "Oh I'm gonna call you and you can walk me through putting songs on my ipod" etc etc.

This one lady, in seafood, says she has an ipod that's just sitting there because "there's a password on my computer that doesn't let me download music to it"

.... SO HERE I AM, in my free time.. ripping ALL of her CDs to her ipod.

GODDAMMIT. I should start charging extra.

Intro: Get a phone call from a friend at around 2:30. Was in the shitter (not that I'm going to tell him that.. lol) so I didn't answer. I knew he had work at 3, and I hate it when people call me at work so I just let it go. He goes home at lunch and signs on AIM.. following conversation ensues.

Spifferific = me

friend (6:17:55 PM): thanks for answering the phone i appreciate it
spifferific (6:18:35 PM): You really need to get over that. [he wigs out like this all the time] I don't answer my phone every time someone calls. It's called not feeling like talking. It's normal.
friend (6:18:58 PM): at least you could text? [and why couldn't HE text me and ask say what he needed to?]
friend (6:19:09 PM): or answer and say hey what do you need i dont feel like talking
friend (6:19:36 PM): not just not answer the phone
friend (6:19:40 PM): i mean what if it was a emergency
spifferific (6:19:51 PM): What could i possibly do for you in an emergency?
boy (6:19:56 PM): call for help

CALL FOR HELP!?! wtf. I don't drive. There is NOTHING I could do for him in an emergency. I don't know any of his friends, or his family.. so it's not like I could get in touch with them. So.. WHY would he call ME in an emergency? Instead of calling for help HIMSELF?

friend (6:20:24 PM): and the reason i called is because were suppose to be friends
friend (6:20:30 PM): i bet if angela called you would answer [Angela is my ex-girlfriend, and we're still pretty close. And no, I don't always answer for her EITHER]
friend (6:20:34 PM): thats messed up

What's wrong with just not wanting to talk? Why are people INSULTED nowadays when someone doesn't answer their phone? or call them back within 10 minutes? ESPECIALLY if they don't leave a voice mail.

If you don't leave a voice mail or even send a text saying "hey call when you get a chance"... I assume it's not anything important, and therefore won't call you back if I am not in the mood.

Am I really that horrible of a person for having this outlook?

p.s. This was originally posted in my postwhore thread, then expanded for a full rant at xmike, then revised for here. :D

I was outside smoking... and there was a man walking a tiny dog and he singing at the TOP OF HIS LUNGS, completely oblivious to anything around him.

It made me giggle.

( the man behind the singing! )

.

( and I'm not a dick so... )

http://consumerist.com/365578/geek-squads-abominable-service-inspires-poem

AWESOME.

( mindless survey! )

Why is it that people seem to sense when I am at my most vulnerable and choose THEN to be total fucking dickwads, when during the other 99% of my online life EVERY SINGLE PERSON I talk to/encounter online is either nice, or obviously joking/trying to get a laugh?

You know, I always said I'd rather be smart than ugly, but lately I just don't know anymore. I think I'd trade it away in a heartbeat.

Edit: And Angela WONDERS why I don't go "looking" for new friends/relationship people. Every time I message or comment on some random person's profile/whatever... I get ignored/insulted.

My BEST BEST friendships have come from random encounters usually initiated by THEM. Robyn, Kit, Katie, Angela, Abbra, Jenn, Yesenia... (Even Stephanie, Lauren, Jessie, Kasey and other important people from my past). All of these were people that I didn't try to start a conversation/friendship with (it just happened).. and the majority of them messaged ME first OUT OF THE BLUE.

(Linz being the only expection, but to be QUITE honest, I never imagined we'd be this good of friends when I messaged her the first time. Ever.)

Editted Edit: (I posted this to myspace and added/deleted some stuff and I thought it made a better sounding entry so I changed this one up too.)

The boss who I've been working for my entire "working life" is being transferred to a store in New Orleans. :( (which SUCKS for him. It's in the GHETTO) I don't want to work for anyone else! This succckkkkksss.

:(

So I work at a grocery store, and our breakroom/office is upstairs. My boss is an older woman, who at the end of the day has trouble getting up the steps. We CONSTANTLY poke fun at each other.. so today I started crawling on all fours up the steps while she was walking up them. (and I was going faster too!)

But WHO starts coming up the steps behind us? Our store manager (who is a really nice guy who would've probably laughed at me)? Noo of course not!! It was our DISTRICT MANAGER. Oh my god. Haha. I felt like SUCH AN ASS.

But it's good to know that on those surveys that ask for your "most embarrassing moment."... I'll have something to put now!

How well does Google know you? Find out.

Here's how it works:

Type your first name and a present tense verb into Google. Make sure you use quotes around the entire phrase! Then post the first relevant result result you find. That's it! You'd be surprised to find out how many people with your name have similar likes/dislikes/problems as you.

Example:
Search Term: "Joey wants"
Result: "Joey wants to become the Donald Trump of the Eastern Shore"


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your name: Kristi


Is...
Kristi is screaming and laughing and crying, one outburst after the other.
(Not literally, but I've been extremely mood swingy lately.)

Wants...
Kristi wants to see if cattle will eat a “cowpie."
(Well.. now that you mention it...)

Needs...
Kristi needs to get out of the house more.
(Ain't THAT the truth?!)

Loves...
Kristi Loves the Mud.
(I am rather partial to the way mud feels betweens my toes.)

Hates...
Kristi hates Aunt Flo.
(Who the hell likes it?)

Best Buy? WORST BUY!
A Poem by Kristi Lynn Cobbler

So listen to a story bout a gal named Moo.
Her display broke and she didn't know what to do.
She took it to Best Buy to try the Geek Squad
The next month or so had her praying to God.

"It's the monitor!" They said, so sure of themselves.
So she sent it off to be fixed by the Best Buy elves.
"Come and get it!" They called! She was filled with delight.
She brings her monitor home, but something isn't right.

It's having the same problem as it had before.
They said they fixed it. They said they were sure.
Back to Best Buy! She goes in a flash.
She buys a different wire with her hard earned cash.

Hooray! It's fixed, albeit not right.
The monitor doesn't make it through the night.
In the midst of her problems, she begins to weep.
Her computer won't start. All it does is beep.

Back to Best Buy, for the third time.
She hands her computer to the Geek Squad slime.
"It just beeps at me." She says with a sigh.
And of course the Geek Squad doesn't know why.

Now her computer is sent off for repair,
as stuff piles up on her unused computer chair.
She waits and she waits for it to come back,
Before her chair turns into a clothes rack.

A phone call. "Hello?" It's about time they called.
Her computer was back, and so ass she hauled.
She drove mighty quickly to that Best Buy store.
She got her computer, and bust out the door.

Home again! Home again! She arrives in a hurry.
She has a strange feeling, and she starts to worry.
She hooks up the wires, and turns her computer on.
Hooray! It works! She could burst into song!

But that's not the end of this really long story.
The repair shop has the attention span of Dory.
All is well, or so it seems like it might be.
Until she tries to play her Sweeney Todd CD.

She ejects the tray, and pops her CD in.
She sits and she waits for the music to begin.
"What's this?" She feels as if she could bawl.
Her CD drive isn't showing up at all.

She sighs a deep sigh as she opens her case.
Then she groans when she sees what was left out of place.
Her blood boils as the repairman she wish she could diss.
It's something that not just anyone could miss.

A loose wire was hanging. Quite obviously too.
Even a small child would know what to do.
She fixes it and sets her computer back onto the shelf.
"Next time my computer is broken," she says, "I'll fix it MYSELF."

The lesson of the story is, in so many words.
Geek Squad is laughable. They're not real nerds.
So unless you feel like wishing you were dead...
Don't go to Geek Squad, find a REAL geek instead.

( Zee offending wire. )

( Read more... )

Being a hermit sucks.
Current mood: lonely

I need a car, or friends to hang out with, or a medical miracle to get over my social phobia so I can acquire thing 1 and thing 2.

I'm tired of being left home alone with nothing to do, and no one to talk to. This is starting to get fucking old.

Of course it's no one's fault but my own, as usual. Of course it's not anyone else's fault. Who in their right mind would choose to stay home with me on their days off? There's more important things to do.

Cloverfield made me JUMP out of my seat, BAWL like a baby and VOMIT.

holyfuckingcow.

What a movie!!! haha

So, my mom went to her lawyer today and she said that my mom hardly has a chance to get disability. Apparently there's no real "proof" of anything being wrong in her back. Maybe next time she has an episode and is screaming to God for it to stop, I should video tape it and shove it down the judge's fucking eye sockets.

Bullshit.

There are people who try to scam the system, my mom is NOT one of them.

Fucking red tape. My mom must've went to the hospital twice EVEN THOUGH SHE DIDN'T HAVE INSURANCE because she liked owing tens of thousands of dollars to doctors! UGGGGGGHHHH.

IDIOTS. IDIOTS. Stupid.

"There's a hole in the world like a great black pit, and it's filled with people who are filled with shit, and the vermin of the world inhabit it, and it goes by the name of" THE AMERICAN JUDICIAL SYSTEM.

I don't want to clean. I don't want to clean. I don't want to clean. I DON'T WANT TO CLEAN.

::pouts::